July 3, 2010

Sleepless thought-

I've never been so sure in my life. I have found the worse feeling in the world. Well, it's not really a feeling... more like a...moment? I'd call it a moment. When you know everyone else is sleeping and you have big thoughts. And all you want to do is go to bed, but you can't because of those big thoughts. They don't leave you alone. I'm sadly going to admit that I am in one of those horrible time periods where all I can do is think. I'd love to share all my thoughts with you, but there mostly too confusing. And my hands are too tired to type out long boring stories, I know no one will read. It's honestly not worth it. Speaking of speaking though. Speak. Speak. Speak.

Other than the fact that I wasn't raped, this is the story of my life. If I could go mute, I would. I would speak through with my art. Even though, it would be tricky to understand the things I would say. Plus, I'd lose all my friends. I'd lose everything and become more of a freak. I hate that word. Freak. See, now you really do see the sleepless thoughts wearing in. That thought of understood art brought me to freak and now I'm thinking about being called a freak. One thought to another in less than a minute. Wow, Hettie. Pretty impressive. It's 4 'o' clock in the morning. What am I doing up? I'm sitting up talking to myself. If anyone should be called a freak it's me.
I can't.
Too many thoughts now.
Thank you.


  1. wow. this is really deep. honestly, if you fixed your grammar and spelling a little, you'd be a fantastic writer.

  2. I'm sorry things are difficult. Especially in summer when everyone has spare time to think about things that have happened. I know the feeling, and just wanted to comment saying so.