HETTIE

No one really cares.

I finally admitted myself my obsession and decided I'd actually do something about it before I realize how much of a creep I am. Admittance is the first step to acceptation. I'd fill you in, but my slut-crazy mind would probably scar you guys for life. If you're really that stupid, I don't have a slut-crazed mind nor is it even close to ever having dirty thoughts. I'm probably the most asexual person ever, I feed on my own ignorance to get me through the day without speaking to the opposite gender. Thats my defense mechanism though, I really can't help it. I could probably change, become a huge flirt and probably still be just as unhappy. Ending up in the arms of some pathetic basketball playing creep who I forced my feelings upon. I mean that usually does happen to me, I've decided that I'm done with all the bullshit. I am going to stay all to myself until I find that one person who I cry every time they talk to me because they make me that happy. It will be the most romantic shit ever and we will have the greatest sex. We won't even have to touch each other. So to answer any questions, I have a little girl crush. I find myself never having them since I'm so denial when it comes to 'love'. There is no true love anymore, except for when my dad and I went to a classic 2 'O' clock lunch. The family next to us had two kids already and the mom was clearly very pregnant. The dad went over to his very pregnant wife and hugged her for a good 30 minutes. They started as my dad and I were ordering and stopped when we had both finished. I mean thats true love. It's so nice to see since I love hearing about the stupid fights all of the stupid couples get in. I mean I love it, but it's sad. I love hearing about all the pretty girls getting cheated on by other pretty girls, it just really shows how these boys could really care less. Another reason why I am so to myself, seriously not worth my time if they are going to be 5 year olds; and I mean dating a 5 year old weirds me out. But these girls! And then they get mean to the other girls when really it's all the boys. Us women need to stick together, even though we are all so different and really do hate each other so much. We really do. We hate our friends, lets be honest. You wouldn't be talking so much shit behind there backs if you actually liked them. You might as well cut the bullshit before you seriously become diagnosed with pathological lying. And these girls are so talented, with all the lying they do. They would be serious actresses. They should use that talent for some broadway show rather than ripping on another girl who is the exact same as you. It's funny. Were all so similar, yet treat each other like shit and hate each other. It really is amusing.

Recently, my best friend and I finally rekindled our friendship since 4 months we were not friends because I didn't know how to deal with me being upset over stupid things. It ruined our friendship and for those 4 months of not being friends, it killed me. I would see and talk to her every dance class, it was normal friendship. Then once not with each other, it was different. We both had a guard up to each other, neither us wanted to apologize to anyone. One day, not fully myself, I apologized and it was a good decision. She is a good friend and I'm glad to never lose her. I know she is there for me.

I have two good friends only.