Friendship is so strange to me. There not family, but people you've met later in your life who you look at as if they maybe a brother or sister. For me, I've been friends with a couple of people I've met around 3rd grade or so. Then, I have my most recent group of friends who I'd call much different from the people I spent growing up with in Winnetka.
Well, the first thing is is I never felt completely comfort in Winnetka so my friendships were short termed. I always wanted to leave and for some reason, people there seemed to like it.
I think of it as being afraid. They like the comfort there. It's definitely no Chicago.. I actually laugh about it all the time.
And in between these time periods of groups of people I call friends, like actual friends I'd call in times of trouble. I went through maybe 100 different friend groups where I tried to find someone.
I'm in need of some friends.
But, it just seems to me that people aren't looking for the friendship I am looking for.
I want an honest relationship with good meanings and lots of fun.
It's not like I'm asking for a lot, but a lot of people I know or thought I was friends with proved to me they do not care about any of those things.
They strictly care about if you are willing to have people over, willing to throw money of booze, and if OTHERS like you so they're willing to bring you around..
And it weirds me how people have separated friendships for separated parts of themselves. How do you really ignore this when you hangout with this person?
Am I maybe tough?
I don't know. I can't tell, but all I know if all my friends bother me all the time.
I think its maturity.
Everyone's still trying to get their fix and I'm just trying to sit and hangout. Yeah, I'd love to go out.
But I'm not dying too, so no one bothers to invite me at all anymore.
I've seem to realize maybe it is me, then I remember who I've been defriended by and I'm grateful again.
I have some friends who live only by their schedules and love to text me only when they have their free time.
And I've gotten really sick of my friends who think they know me like know me so well they can read me, you can never read someone by the way. Especially at this time of young age where we change.
And I understand people are people and friends are friends.
And I am no friends responsibility.
All I want to say is it would be fucking nice to be invited once in awhile by your best friend or any friends at all.
But especially, a so called best friend. I've began to think they really just love the fucking title because they love you, but they're really into themselves at the moment.
WHEN FRIENDS START ACTING A LITTLE DIFFERENT, YO, ITS WEIRD,
YOU'RE LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH YOU?
YOU'RE LIKE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS PERSON, BUT YOU'RE TOTALLY THIS PERSON NOW
AND YOU'RE SO LIKE, NAH, I AIN'T PUTTING UP WITH THIS SHIT
THEN SOMEHOW, YOU'RE PUTTING UP WITH THIS SHIT!
It's the small things, small gestures of invitations or things you like. Hey, I know you've been feeling down let's get some sushi. Or, lets grab some tea.
And I know I'm tough and stubborn, but that doesn't mean I don't like going out and being around all types of people.
Some people are such idiots for assuming things.
Some friends are such idiots for assumings things.
And now in college, the friendship games have changed.
Some people had the greatest friendships of high school and others found it challenging as others did. And then you have the liars, who can't admit that they picked their friends based on terrible reason.
I know maybe people of that nature and I really hope they can think about what they've done.
People really need to pick friends wisely because you become who are around.
And friend's inspire you to be one way or another.
I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS.
p.s I'm getting my mustache LASERED off so maybe that will help.